When I first heard that I would be going, I was pretty nervous.  I had no idea what to expect.  I mean, it’s the OC for goodness sakes.  Wasn’t there a show on tv of the same name?  Any and everything that I’ve ever seen or heard about Cali is that everyone is tiny, blond, shallow, and has fake body parts.   In my mind, this definitely wasn’t a Big Diva friendly place at all.  The worst case scenario is that I would be looked at and treated like Shrek.

Do you see what I did here?  Based on fictional movies and shows, I was bracing myself.  I was developing the chip on my shoulder.  I WAS CREATING THE INTENTION! (Law of Attraction).  My assumption that everyone in the LA /OC area was or wanted to look like a stuck up Barbie doll caused me to think that they would look down their noses at me. 

One of the big problems with this is that it puts you on the defensive.  You’ve trained your mind to focus on negative occurences only.  Everything negative that happens can ONLY happen because you are fat, a woman, a minority, are short, are physically impaired or whatever. If you’re not able to get a table at the Ivy in 5 minutes with no reservation, it can only be because you’re fat, not because eating here without a reservation is damn near impossible since it’s a very busy place all of the time.  Being told that the club is not admitting any more patrons has to be because they are discriminating against you, not because the club is already past fire hazard level.  The guy you were flirting with didn’t want to give you his number.  Your first thought is that he’s probably racist.  It never occurred to you that he has a girlfriend already or that he might not be into girls.

In all three of these examples, you’ve created the intention that there is negativity directed at you.  As a result, you act accordingly.  You may be sad, because you think that people are being mean to you.  You snap at people, because you’re angry.  You let these things affect your day / night, and that in turn taints your attitude and your behavior.  Notice how from that point on, everything goes wrong.  pantyhose get a run in them, you break a nail, you trip, etc.  It’s like a domino effect!

I admit, I too am guilty of doing this.    Sometimes when I go to certain type of events or venues, I think that I am not going to get any attention because of my weight.  I create this intention and sure enough, my thought comes true:  no attention.  However, it’s not necessarily because of my weight, but because I act up.  I’m not smiling, nor am I dancing and having a good time.  I’m mean mugging something serious , so I don’t appear to be approachable, and I am searching for anyone who might be talking smack or looking at me weird.  Who wants to talk to a chick like that?  Regardless of how she looked, the answer would be no one.  Any time that I have gone out and remained open minded, smiled, and left my prejudgements and negative intentions at home, I’ve had much better experiences.

I thought that I would hate LA and would be itching to get back home.  I totally didn’t expect it to be a place of very friendly and laid back people and beautiful landscapes.  Some guy in Hollywood even tried to holla.  lol  Shocking!  :p  So thank you, Cali, for reminding me to smile and not be so defensive.  It is not important to fit in, but it is important to be a confortable and confident you!  Get comfortable in your skin.  Trust me when I tell you that being open, confident, and approachable is a game changer.  People do notice these things.  They are curious as to your source of happiness and joy.

Keep in mind that they’re going to be people who may look at you funny or have something negative to say, but don’t focus your attention on them and their hateful ways.  They’ve got bigger problems than you or I have time to deal with, plus they aren’t worth the energy.  Focus on the positive and enjoy your life.  You’ll be a much better person for it. 

©2010 BigDivaHq.com. All Rights Reserved.

I watched both episodes as well as her after show specials, and something clicked.  The points that the authors made resonated with me completely.  Her guests included James Ray, Lisa Nichols, Dr. Michael Beckwith, Jack Canfield, along with Rhonda Byrne, the author.  I scoured Youtube looking for videos by them.  (I’ll be sure to post a few later.)

The gist of the show was that my thoughts, conscious and unconscious, were creating my reality.  I could see that.  An example would be whenever I set my mind to something, opportunities would come out of the woodworks.  Then I would say to myself that I was not good enough to get it done and I wouldn’t do it.

A couple weeks later, an I-Tunes update popped up on my screen.  I don’t typically use I-Tunes, but I decided to see what it was about.  I found a ton of FREE podcasts with interviews from many of The Secret guests.  I also found Law of Attraction related podcasts as well as podcasts about hypnosis, detoxification, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), weight loss, goal setting and achievement, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), affirmations, meditations, and the power of gratitude.  I listened to different ones every day for weeks.  My mind was opened up to a ton of new ideas that I began incorporating into my life.

Since then, things have really shifted.  I have even more confidence now.  I’ve learned and fully accepted my purpose.  Before, I never really made goals that I’ve stuck with.  I’ve waivered on them, which is why it was difficult to see any achievement on the few long term goals that I set.  I’ve since set goals for almost every area of my life: health and fitness, career, relationship and family, financial, legacy, personal, and recreation.  (I’ve included an interview with Jack Canfield, one of my absolute favorite contributors to The Secret, at the end of this post.)

The reason I chose to share this story was to hopefully light a fire within you.  You don’t have to wait until some kind of near death experience to change the direction of your life.  Don’t wait until you can’t do any of the things that you’ve always wanted to do.  Don’t wait, because tomorrow is not promised to you.  Besides death, accidents, debilitating illnesses, financial emergencies, fear, and other circumstances can change the game for anyone.  Don’t wait.  You only have one shot at this life.  Don’t waste it!

©2010 BigDivaHq.com. All Rights Reserved.