Much Ado About Goals

Apr 08 2010

Posted by Ms. Pillowz as Personal Development

Goals

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are, you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn

The fourth month of the new year is just beginning, but now is still a great time to talk about goals. I actually had another post planned before this one, but this is SO important to discuss. This may end up being a series that gets updated or revisited from time to time.

Some of you may be saying, “She’s all late and wrong. I made my New Years Resolutions like 4 months ago. How is she gonna come in here talking about goals now?” Two things: One- new Years Resolutions are not goals and two- month four just started. How are your resolutions holding up? Broken yet or just about broken? Hmm… What’s with the silence? *wink*

It’s still pretty early in the year, you still have 8 months to go after all, so I figured that it was still a good time to write your goals, (for those who haven’t), or write them the right way, (for those who did resolutions).

Now some of you may be wondering what my beef is with resolutions. Actually, I have no beef at all. I’m glad that people thought about something that they hope will change in the new year, BUT a resolution is just a start. People tend to make them and then stop there. In essence, it’s simply a wish. You wish that you would lose weight or quit smoking or cut down on spending.

After the wishes are made, people wing it and hope for the best. “This is my last pack of ciggies and then I’m going cold turkey.” “I will only eat vegetables and drink water for the rest of my life. Yeah… I’ll be skinny in no time.” “I’m cutting up all of my credit cards. That should keep me from spending.” Clearly, all of these are pretty extreme. They are desperate plans: not well thought out or realistic.

A goal, on the other hand, is more defined. It is something that was thought out in great detail. There is a workable plan involved. A GOOD goal includes EXACTLY what you want, what you hope to get by achieving it, and is something that pushes you, but is achievable.

One of the best ways to know that you set a good goal is by using the “SMART model”. It is said that Peter Drucker was the originator of this concept, but it isn’t completely clear. There are a few people claiming the credit.

S is specific

M is measurable

A is attainable

R is realistic

T is timely

Be specific – “Be healthy” is very vague. What exactly does “healthy” mean? Are you referring to blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, or something else? You have to get more detailed in what you want, because if you don’t how do you know if you’ve achieved your goal or not? More importantly, how do you know how to work towards achieving your goal?

Show measurement – You have to be able to measure your goal. What does achievement look like? Pounds. Inches. Time. Distance. Something. There has to be a way of determining whether or not you achieved the goal. The above goal, “be healthy” or “lose weight” is not measurable. A goal to lose 10 pounds by June of this year is measurable and specific.

Can you reach this goal? – Writing down a lofty goal that is virtually impossible for you to achieve is a set up for failure. That, my friends, is bad for business. The reason to set achievable goals is that you have to work towards achieving them and when you achieve them, you experience a bit of pride, a shot of confidence, and a sense of victory. This helps to build your self esteem. Don’t set your goals too low, either. You won’t be too concerned with reaching them, because it isn’t really a challenge.

Can this goal be a reality for you? – A goal has to be realistic. It has to make sense. A goal for me to lose 120 pounds in 1 year is specific, measurable, and attainable, albeit risky, but it is not a realistic goal. I know me very well and the things that I would have to do to achieve that goal are things that I would NEVER do! That fact makes this goal a pipe dream aka unrealistic.

When do you hope to achieve the goal? – Next week? In a month? By the end of the year? January 14, 2012? All goals need to have a “deadline” to work towards in order to keep you engaged, motivated, and focused.

I wrote out a list of goals for different areas in my life. I didn’t think about it, honestly. It was more of a brainstorm. I thought about the things that I wanted to achieve by the end of the year and wrote them down as they came to mind. I started going back through them to rephrase and reformat them so that they are SMART goals that make better sense. I’ll share a few here to give you some practice.

1) Pay me first.: What in the hell does that mean? There are so many things that this “goal” can mean. The back story gives you a better idea. When I wrote the goal, I was referring to my tendency to spend money and / or leave it in my checking account. By doing nothing or just spending it, my money wasn’t working for me. It was working for the banks or for the people who owned the places where I spent it. Checking accounts get little interest, if any at all, and this is where SO many people keep most of their money. They have direct deposit from their jobs and all of their bills come out of the account, so it’s easier to keep there. After the money comes out for bills, whatever is left is just hanging out in there, tempting you to buy yet another pair of black pumps that you don’t need. Meanwhile, there’s a minimum amount coming out for savings or investments.

Women are especially guilty of this. We normally put everyone ahead of ourselves: kids, significant others, family, and jobs, not just financially, but in other areas, too. Realizing this, I decided to break the cycle this year. By paying myself first, I would take more of my money and put it in places where it is working to make more money on my behalf. This could mean higher interest bearing accounts, investment vehicles, or business ventures. To make this a SMART Goal, I could change it to read, “I am putting 20% of my salary in a Roth IRA, (or some other savings or investment tool), annually.

2) Get out more.: If I randomly stand out on my porch every Sunday afternoon, I can say that I’ve gotten out more. Do you see why it is important to be clear in setting your goals? *smile* This was important to me, because I am young, single, fabulous, and fun loving. I enjoy meeting and interacting with people, (although I’m a little shy), but I can’t do any of this by loitering on Facebook or Twalking, (Twitter stalking), folks. I have to make an effort and get out there. *teeth chattering* By changing the goal to, “I am attending 4 Meetups, Facebook events, Tweetups, or other events that I am invited to attend each month,” I’ve turned my wish into a SMART Goal. (I’ll tell you how this is working out in another post.)

Your assignment: If you’ve done New Year’s Resolutions, go back and dust them off, then ask yourself if they are SMART Goals. If your answer is “no”, then fix them. If you didn’t do resolutions, that’s ok. Sit down and write out some SMART goals for the year. Don’t just do this in your head, WRITE THEM DOWN!! Having them in your head does NOT count. Once you finish, put them on your refrigerator or someplace else that you can see them regularly to keep you focused.

In the coming weeks, we’ll talk more about goals, including some tips to help you achieve them. Be sure to let me know what you think about this post and feel free to share one or two of your SMART goals.

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How a Drive By Changed My Life – Conclusion

Dec 04 2009

Posted by Ms. Pillowz as Lesson Learned, Personal Development

handgun_ I knew that I didn’t totally want to lose that fire that I felt right afterwards, but I was fading fast. Indecision, lack of direction, and not accomplishing any goals was sucking the motivation right out of me. One day at work, somehow I found Oprah’s The Secret episodes. I had heard about The Secret before and even bought the audiobook a couple years ago. I found the music and the Australian accent distracting, so I never finished it. I don’t think that I was truly ready to hear the message at that time.

I watched both episodes as well as her after show specials, and something clicked. The points that the authors made resonated with me completely. Her guests included James Ray, Lisa Nichols, Dr. Michael Beckwith, Jack Canfield, along with Rhonda Byrne, the author. I scoured Youtube looking for videos by them. (I’ll be sure to post a few later.)

The gist of the show was that my thoughts, conscious and unconscious, were creating my reality. I could see that. An example would be whenever I set my mind to something, opportunities would come out of the woodworks. Then I would say to myself that I was not good enough to get it done and I wouldn’t do it.

A couple weeks later, an I-Tunes update popped up on my screen. I don’t typically use I-Tunes, but I decided to see what it was about. I found a ton of FREE podcasts with interviews from many of The Secret guests. I also found Law of Attraction related podcasts as well as podcasts about hypnosis, detoxification, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), weight loss, goal setting and achievement, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), affirmations, meditations, and the power of gratitude. I listened to different ones every day for weeks. My mind was opened up to a ton of new ideas that I began incorporating into my life.

Since then, things have really shifted. I have even more confidence now. I’ve learned and fully accepted my purpose. Before, I never really made goals that I’ve stuck with. I’ve waivered on them, which is why it was difficult to see any achievement on the few long term goals that I set. I’ve since set goals for almost every area of my life: health and fitness, career, relationship and family, financial, legacy, personal, and recreation. (I’ve included an interview with Jack Canfield, one of my absolute favorite contributors to The Secret, at the end of this post.)

The reason I chose to share this story was to hopefully light a fire within you. You don’t have to wait until some kind of near death experience to change the direction of your life. Don’t wait until you can’t do any of the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t wait, because tomorrow is not promised to you. Besides death, accidents, debilitating illnesses, financial emergencies, fear, and other circumstances can change the game for anyone. Don’t wait. You only have one shot at this life. Don’t waste it!

Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success Tele-Seminar

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How a Drive By Changed My Life – Part II

Nov 10 2009

Posted by Ms. Pillowz as Lesson Learned

handgun_

I sat in my car crying for what felt like hours. I just could not move. I was so wrapped up in everything that I was feeling, I forgot to even call the police. I took a deep breath and it came to me. “You are still here,” I said out loud. That one sentence filled every cell in my body and every organ. It completely resonated with me. I felt warmth, enveloped in love and vibrancy, and I felt an extraordinary amount of energy. I started my car and drove back home.

The entire trip home was spent in gratitude. I was grateful to be alive. Grateful to have so many great people in my life who inspired me and loved me. I was grateful for everything that I’d been through, including the drive by, and I was extremely grateful for where I was in life. I’ve been through a lot: self destructive behavior, depression, bad relationships, more issues than a newstand, and plenty of bad choices. At the time it all felt horrible. I felt helpless, desperate, and unworthy of goodness. Despite it all, eventually it passed, as it always does. On the other side of that mess was victory. I became a much stronger person because of all of it.

I’d certainly come a long way, but I still had a ways to go. There were still many things that I needed to do. I would love to tell you that from that point on, I turned everything around and got busy fulfilling my dreams, because I didn’t. I would love to tell you that right afterwards I got my act together for good and completely changed my life immediately, because that isn’t true either. I can tell you that I became very focused on goals. I wrote out pages and page of things that I needed to do. I had my own personal “Honey Do” list going. The thing is, a To Do is not the same as goals. Goals provide you the overall direction in which to go. The To Do list makes up the steps that you should take to achieve the goals. I didn’t have goals. I just had lists of things to do, which lacked focus.

Besides the lack of focus, the lists were overwhelming. I had no idea where to start. I picked at little things here and there. I was doing a lot and not accomplishing anything. I became discouraged and fell back into old habits. I was back to procrastination. I made no effort to write out and solidify my goals. My eating habits were back to being out of control and I was living in front of the tv again.

I thought back to the drive by some times. It made me think seriously about the current direction of my life. I honestly wasn’t happy where I was. I definitely wouldn’t be content to continue on this path and live out the remainder of my life this way. I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose. As a matter of fact, I had no idea what my purpose was. I believed it would all come to me if I sat still and listened, so I got quiet.

To be continued…

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Much Ado About Goals

How a Drive By Changed My Life – Conclusion

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